Why vacationing with my adult son is my all-time favorite way to travel
It’s hard to believe that 30 years have passed since my son was born. My husband and I had spent a year in Melbourne, Australia, and Alec was only five weeks old when we returned home. He was born a month early and weighed only five pounds. And as we boarded the plane for the long journey back to New York, I will never forget the incredulous look from the flight attendant when I told her that this little creature in my arms had five weeks. “You mean, five days old?” ” she asked.
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This peanut is now over six feet tall and has traveled his entire life. It’s no understatement to say that travel is a defining characteristic of our family. By chance, my husband and I met at JFK Airport as students when we were both kicked off a flight to Los Angeles. His career as a filmmaker has allowed him to experience far-flung adventures, notably in Rome, Los Angeles and Tuscany. As I transitioned from a career in early childhood education to travel journalism, my wanderlust only accelerated.
A family tradition that continues
Alec now lives in California. I love it when he comes home but it’s complicated. I fall into my slightly overbearing mom role and he regresses a bit as he sleeps in his childhood bedroom, where I’ve kept a shrine of stuffed animals and class photos. But when we travel, we are both strangers in a foreign land and things seem more equal.
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It’s been a decade since we started taking vacations together as a mother and adult son. Over the years, we’ve hiked waterfalls in Jamaica, swum in Puerto Rico’s bioluminescent bay, and taken a guided group tour of the Canadian Rockies. We even sailed the Caribbean together on a giant ship, but neither of us had ever been on an expedition cruise before. So when I suggested a mother-son expedition cruise to Mexico’s Baja California peninsula, he jumped at the chance for a totally new adventure,
An Introduction to Expedition Cruising
What is an expedition cruise? It is a small ship, usually with only around 100 passengers, that allows deep dives to remote destinations that would be difficult or impossible to reach on a larger cruise ship.
There are no go-karts, no tango lessons and no kids’ club. An expedition ship offers understated luxury, but the emphasis is on authentic experiences aboard the ship.
Alec thrives on an energetic pace and I’m up for the adventure. So we agreed that this type of cruise seemed suitable for us.
Whale Watching in Baja
We both love any activity that takes place around water. We booked the Lindblad Baja California Expeditions: Among the Great Whales because they offered plenty of water activities including whale watching, snorkeling, and kayaking. Our ship, the National Geographic Venture, would take us around Mexico’s Baja Peninsula, from the Sea of Cortés to the Pacific Ocean.
This route attracts whale watchers and I have heard that February is the best time to view gray whales, which leave their Arctic feeding grounds to breed and raise their young in the warm, sheltered waters of Baja.
The art of compromise: reconciling solidarity and independence
Alec and I shared a cabin, because expedition cruises are expensive. Although it was spacious by cruise ship standards, privacy was at a minimum.
I’m an early riser and Alec is a night owl. To make it work, we both spent time in the ship’s lounge when the other was sleeping. We also each headed to the living room for at least an hour each day to give the other some alone time in our cabin.
The itinerary left plenty of room for the right measure of friendliness and individual time.. One day, Zodiacs transported all the passengers to Puerto Gato, a remote peninsula in the Sea of Cortés. Once we arrived, we each did our own thing; I kayaked while Alec paddled around the bay on a stand-up paddle board. After our solo adventures, we returned together for a hike and marveled at the striking landscape of red volcanic ash and giant fossilized sand dunes.
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Another day we spent an afternoon in La Paz. Passengers were transported by coach. I took the first coach so I could explore this pretty seaside town while Alec chose a later option so he would have time to work out at the ship’s fitness center. We ended up in La Paz and attended a folk dance performance and dinner at a local restaurant.
How we make it work
I spent years lugging strollers around the world and trying to deal with jet lag in people too young to be able to read the numbers on a clock. Traveling with an adult child is not without its obstacles, but these tend to arise from independence rather than dependence. When planning your trip, keeping a few things in mind should make it easier to navigate.
- Choose your destination wisely: For example, Alec loves the nightlife, but he wouldn’t want to go to a party city like Ibiza with his mother.
- Who pays for what should be clear: I pay for our trips, but I appreciate it when Alec offers me coffee at the airport or other things that fit into his budget.
- Plan the trip together: Key decisions must be made in tandem, regardless of who foots the bill.
- The limits are important: Avoid simmering resentments by clearly but kindly expressing the things that are important. For example, being on time is a big deal for me and I let Alec know that being late was a no-no.
- Remember the big picture: Traveling can be stressful. We don’t let small challenges and arguments get in the way of good things.
What made this trip the best ever?
I cherish every vacation I’ve taken with Alec, but sharing adventures on our expedition cruise was especially special. Swimming with sea lions, snorkeling among thousands of trevally, and getting so close to gray whales that we could have touched them were all unmissable experiences that we had the opportunity to share. But the simple pleasures on board – watching the sunset, stargazing and listening to Alec’s favorite music while we relaxed on deck chairs – are also imprinted on my heart.
The last time we spoke on the phone, Alec told me he would never forget the thrill of jumping into the blue waters of the Sea of Cortés. He said he misses life aboard the Venture, chatting with other passengers and meeting interesting people at dinner each evening. We both embraced the big and the small on our expedition cruise, so I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. I’m counting the days until our next vacation together.
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